Looking beyond Mirrors

 

Photo credit: dreamstime.com

Body positivity. Basically, having a positive attitude towards your own body type. Accepting yourself wholeheartedly, just the way you are. Oh scratch the golden words. Frankly have we, as teenagers ever felt completely secure of our body? It might seem all pretty and nice in theory, but when it comes to oneself, insecurities and overthinking are natural defenses. One night admiring yourself and claiming, “Oh, I am delighted with my body,” and then opening Instagram the next morning and finding someone leaner than you, someone with more defined abs, someone curvier than you, someone with better hair or someone having better biceps. And down the lane goes all positivity. 

I was really big on makeup when I was younger. Totally obsessed. I used to dress up and load makeup on my face, randomly. Used to put in hours and hours of work on my face before stepping out. Why? I still have got no idea. But once I got my specs on, the obsession slightly reduced. And then over the years, I just probably grew too lazy to attempt any experiment with the way I look, and so I started embracing the natural-me. So my laziness does play a small but integral part, in the tedious process of loving myself.

If being insecure were a sport, I would have definitely bagged quite a few gold medals. At one phase of my teenage life, I was inundated with insecurities. Be it my spectacled-framed face, or my stubborn hair, the misaligned teeth, the occasional red pops on my face or the hair on my body. I tried everything in my power to despise them and get rid of them. But over the course of time, aforementioned, I grew lazy enough to not put any effort over my external appearance. I just didn't want to. Studies and other activities kept me busy, but I just knew I couldn't keep up with a routine to improve my external appearance. I started paying attention to what my body needs rather than what it wants. Yes, getting ready for a party was still a favourite, but that didn't take an hour, like before. And dancing was still important, a regular part of my routine as an exercise. I just stopped doing anything which I felt was altering my natural self. And just like that, I grew acquainted with my own body. I fell in love with my imperfect curves, or the hair on my face, the smooth yet bumpy texture of my skin. The occasional pimples do irritate me now and then, but again, it's a natural bodily reaction, and there wasn't much I could do about it, other than carry on with my daily routine. I realized that, the less mental attention I paid to my external appearance, the more attractive I felt when I saw myself in the mirror. There's always something I see in my reflection that makes me happy about myself. There should be. And there, I realized, I have already started to fall in love with myself! Yes, it is a process, and starting that process takes hell lot of effort. 

Have you just ever truly looked at yourself? Looked beyond what a mere mirror has to say back to you? Looked beyond the so-called beauty standards? Looked beyond the idea of a showcased “perfect” man or woman? 

The day you look beyond such futile aspects, I am sure you shall see a person, so gorgeous, so perfect. Someone so ready to fight against the world. Someone who raises her/his chin high and walks with that little ambition in her or his mind. 

In today's day and age, where the measure of beauty is still as regressive as the colour of your skin, or the size of your waist, arms or chest, recognizing the real, inner beauty becomes a challenge. Within the screams of the determined beauty standards it becomes difficult to kill the chaos of that little demon inside you saying “you're not pretty”. But take a step back and reflect. Question that demon. Raise your voice. Ask yourself what exactly it is that makes you feel so less about yourself. Every person is different. Everyone has their own priorities. Surely your priority cannot be only limited to how you look? Ask yourself, if it is the fact that you don't look good enough, or the fact that you aren't considered good looking by others, that pinches you. 

I am sometimes called a narcissist. Just because I go back and look at those pictures of mine, more than once. Just because I give myself a bright smile at almost every mirror I come across. Just because I am sometimes so happy in the company of my own. I question back if it is really that bad being a narcissist. Excessiveness of anything is harmful, agreed. But where exactly does that line blur? When exactly does it become harmful? 

Another aspect that forces you to question yourself? External validation. Usually from the opposite gender. Most of the time, that question “Am I not good-looking enough” roots back to a subtle rejection, a slight ignorance or plain and straight insult from the opposite gender. Now, was the person important? No. Probably yes. But what did he/she leave you with? Possibly a lifetime subscription of self-doubts and a nagging, pestering inner voice which just doesn't shut up. 

Fake commercialization and overtly hyping up unrealistic beauty standards has a great role in messing up the idea of the acceptance of one's natural self, in the already confused minds of teenagers today. Being exposed to social media, which makes you feel you just are just missing out the universe by not having a sharp nose and high cheekbones or a washerboard chest and ripped up muscles, might as well be that trigger. Simply identifying that trigger is the first step. Body positivity might sound like a hefty term, but it really doesn't need heavy diets, or utter cruel and strict behaviour towards yourself. It simply means to broaden your perspective beyond external beautifications, and truly feel beautiful from within. To shut down those hundred voices and just listen to what that pure heart of yours says. To get to choose what it is, that you want to occur to your body. To do, just exactly what you want to do.